Urrr

Dear Laundry Machine,

I don't mind the fact that you malfunction every so often, and make me run to the office for refunds. Or that you get a little sneaky in hiding my laundry inside my comforter cover. And sometimes, you just don't do your job, and I end up with wet laundry. But did you really have to eat my eye mask? What have I done that is so offensive that you have to punish me this way? I don't understand.

On the plus side, you did give me a reason to complete my purchase on Amazon.com, as my order was shy of the free shipping spending limit.

Signed,
Your confused friend