State of enlightenment

I started a 4 month long community project course yesterday. It took me over two years to get here, but I got here. Here are my a-ha moments.

• Kicking and screaming. I spent most of my energy and time resisting a good thing. Case in point, the Forum, etc. "Its great, but I don't know if its for me" is what usually runs through my mind.
• Breaking down. I break down after the courses because my community relates to me as the untransformed me, which is inconsistent with my possibility of being. After a period of time, I become resigned and back to the little old me.
• Resigning. I am resigned due to the past. I go through the motions but am not present in registration conversations. Especially with people that are close to me. I take their reasons as the absolute, and forget about being unreasonable.

Currently, I have two ideas for the community project. One is to offer Landmark courses in Chinese in the bay area. Two is to offer a support group for job seekers, where we offer each other tips and assistance through online and face to face interactions. Although there are advantages to online access, I do miss the personal interactions.