Small

I have prided myself on going for my heart's content in life, love, jobs, you name it. Although this worked out at times in the past, its had its challenges, especially now with a trying economy. I didn't realize the toll that the unexpected long, and arduous job search has taken on me until last week. It made me feel small, insignificant and simply not good enough.

I scrutinize the money I spend as well. The only things that are carte blanche nowadays are groceries and replacing broken items. The outings with friends are planned out and budgeted in advance.

I don't mind watching out for my money, frankly. Its the zero results job search that kills me. I don't like feeling three inches tall just because I don't have a job. Frankly, I am bored out of my mind.

So, I have switched gears. I started to apply for jobs that don't necessarily rock my world, but can tie me over until I do have a job that does. Also, I started volunteering with Cal during my ample spare time. As for my sanity, I am thinking of reviewing one of those self development classes. Although I am not ready to let go of all my emotional baggage, I know that it will be good for me.

Wish me luck!