All that's said and done

Yesterday was my last working day.

All along, it was not a question of "if", but a question of "when". There are two major contributing factors.

1. Advice from the pain management doctor: although not shocking, he told me that i have to put myself first, and that i have a minor case of depression related to my now one-year work-related injury. frankly, i was not too happy when he told me this. i thought that i was doing all that i can... not
2. Super shadiness: i found out that people violated my patient rights by speaking to my doctor without my authorization, and outrightly lied to get me off the work restrictions.
   

All the sudden, I knew that this is the week. The question became, do I go out quietly or call people out on their outrageous behavior? Then, I remembered something I learned from the class I took a while back. Everyday, there are moments in which who you are as a person calls you powerfully into action. Since my possibilities are being courageous, powerful, detached and peaceful, I chose to speak my mind.

I emailed these people regarding their behavior, and called a meeting to discuss this issue. After several email exchanges, it became obvious that the meeting was not going to happen. Regardless, it was the beginning of the end, so I gave my notice and walked out. My thoughtful bf drove at 90mph from the other end of town to pick me up in our chariot.

Believe it or not, I feel nothing. I guess that's because I got my closure two months back. Looking back, last two months have been stressful, testing my ability of being detached in what's happening around me (sitting across from someone who hasn't spoken to me in 2 months), courageous in standing up for what I believe in (going into battle with company reps who claim that my performance is separate from my injury, despite how the timings coincided), and powerful for accepting the consequences of my actions (there were moments of turmoil and doubt). This was not possible before.

Where do I go from here? Well, recover, R&R (trip to visit Em next week), and being on the hunt for another job that I love with supportive colleagues... maybe even school. All in all, this has been a year of change and learnings... After all that's said and done, all's good in chloe's world.

Cheers.