Watch over me

Neatly tucked away in the corner of my catch all drawer, are my old good luck charms. Although I am an atheist, I have always had a charm to watch over me.

This practice started when I was six years old as my mom tied a donut-shaped jade pendant around my neck. Although the stone’s color reminded me of serene sea sparkling in the warm sun, it evoked longings for pale green lifesavers in my playmates’ minds.

Back then, I thought the ornament was simply a toy. When I grew up, I learned that jade is known for warding off evil, and thereby protecting its owner. At that moment, I grasped my mother’s quiet love for me.

When my prized possession broke, I realized that it was fake and powerless. That did not deter me from searching for a replacement. Unsuccessful at this feat, I stopped wearing jade jewelry.

In my catch all drawer, lies another jade accessory. This one is shaped like Kwan-Yin, the Buddhist goddess of mercy. Although this was not real jade, it carried blessings from a temple 3000 miles away. I knew this because it was I, who held the goddess in my clasped hands, and prayed for good fortune on the sacred grounds permeated with calming incense.

The ornament has a friend, a token. Despite the similarity in their purpose, the token is drastically different from its partner. This youthful decoration is shaped like a miniature pouch, and made of shimmering purple fabric dotted with pink hearts and yellow daisies. The front of the token is decorated with the lucky white cat grinning ear to ear.

To safeguard my charms, I shielded them in a protective cover, and tug them away in a secret compartment in my purse. We were the three amigos, until the day that everything changed.

My boyfriend is a devout person. He sincerely believed that nothing is more sacred and more powerful than the book of teachings. In fact, disciples of his religion house copies of the book to safeguard their loved ones. One day, my boyfriend asked me to carry a copy of the book with me so I will always be protected. Though unsaid, I sensed his affection for me.

So I reorganized my bag. My old friends settled into the catch all drawer as my new guardian found its permanent home. The book and I covered new and old grounds, through our high points as well as low points.

Although I am not superstitious, I carry these ornaments with me because they symbolize warm wishes from my dear ones. Buddha had once said that to be a true Buddhist, one has to forego all his earthly possessions. I guess I am not meant to be a Buddhist.