A couple weeks ago, I realized that I was quite stubborn. And at times, for no reason at all. Before, I thought it was because of my low confidence,and therefore, I am sensitive about doing things in different ways (ergo, not my way).
Sometimes, its not even like my way was the best way of doing things. Its simply something that I know how to do. And that trumps other ways of doing things most of times.
One day, I realized what was the reason behind my stubbornness: I gave up. Although I didn't know it, I felt that nothing was going to change, and I will forever be stuck in this state. Not like its a good state either. Since I gave up on myself unconsciously, I see no reason to try anymore.
Take money for example. I was watching my purse strings like a hawk. Then, I realized: that's not living. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about living on the streets. But that doesn't mean that I have to be stingy with myself either. So I have a weekend in hawaii, a pottery class and maybe even a weeklong dance camp planned. Did I mention getting my hair straightened? I have been fighting that becaue of the cost. Frankly, it comes out to be $10/ month for me in the end.
Although I did not make new year resolutions this year, I am making one now. To open my mind, try new things and live my life as my heart desires.
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