I quit my job, and was in disbelief. I was also in an incredible amount of pain, which I am not in right now. I was scared of what my life holds for me. Although I still wonder about the latter, but I am not scared anymore.
I am glad I took the class last weekend. It made me realize that when I am not my possibility, whatever it may be, I am my rackets and stories. Possibility is based on a foundation of integrity to one's rules, words and other's rules. As with the possibility, any slip up needs to be cleaned up, otherwise, there is no clearing for the possibility. Lord knows that I was totally out of integrity before. That never stopped me from pointing out my friends' human-ness.
A friend who read my blog commented on my utter honesty. A former misconception I have was that I looked good by being fake. For instance, holding on to my stories so I can be right. Unfortunately, that also meant that I was wasting precious energy on this thing, which sucked the life out of me. Once I gave that up and apologized for my actions, I am freed up from my stories. Now my past is in the past, and I get peace.
Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to my former nasty colleagues. My instructor said it the best. The person that is out of integrity will be the first to know, and will torment him/ her self with guilt. I think the worst form of torture is the kind that you do unto yourself. Like a nighmare-ish kind of merry go around that you can never get off.
I know have a seventh sense, the ability to feel people in need. I tried to help coach a friend out of her misery. Although unsuccessful, I am okay with that as its nothing personal. You know Donald Trump's famous words, "Its not personal. Its just business?" We will all feel a whole lotta better if we realize that "Its not personal. Its just life".
So, what are my possibilities? I am inventing for myself and my life the possibility of being full out, free and abundant.
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